Hurah !!!

There are just 4 minutes left till the day of the New School Year Beginning !!!!!!!
I am happy and I am waiting for it... Really ...

And that's me !!!!!!!

That's my man... He is sitting in front of his beloved computer... ( My man works with it)

Thinking...

Sometimes I think about duty... Today I've been by my parents and we talked about my grandfather. He is old... 81 years old... The whole free time this Vacation my parents spent travelling and I spent beeing with my grandfather. Now he feels bad and my parents want me to live with him 'cause somebody has to take care of him... And my sister didn't even visit him for last 5 years. But all the time it must be me to be with him or to help him. "It' s your duty" they say... And what the hell with their duty ? My grandfather has two daughters - teacher (my mother) and the phisican . Why the hell couldn't she take care of him ? I am a TEACHER DAMMED !

Forest

A'bit more...

Forest

As I promised I put photos...

Forest

I 've been in forest ... I spent whole day walking and looking around... The Nature is beauty... It helps to forget about the rest of the world... About your work , problems... About yourself...
It's good to escape sometimes and to be somewhere else... Later I will put here some photos I made that day.

Dreams...

Tere are so many things I want to do in my life... I'll tell you about some of them.
1. To become a professor of English Philology and to teach history of Britain.
2. To have a little , stone house in Scotland ( the country I really love)
3. To travel to Syberia to see what my grandfather had seen.
4. To travel around the world
5. To write a book about all my friends (I wrote about them before in "Friends form the past" )
As you can see ... Many of them are easy to do but some of them...
But ..."Who tries - gets. Who fights - wins. " i WILL DO ALL OF IT ONE DAY... One day ... Soon...

Work, work...

Well, most of Vacation Time is gone ! Hurah ! There are just 2 weeks of it and that WORK !!!!
"ARE YOU CRAZY ?" You might ask... Aye ! I am !!! Or maybe I am just workholic... I love my job. I like my crazy kids and thair crazy ideas. I like to get up early and to go to my school ... I like to explain eazy topic for 10 hours just for to see understanding in the eyes of John or Kate. A teacher must be an actor playing his role with love and understanding. Teacher must love his/her work.
IF I DIDN'T LOVE MY WORK I WOULD NEVER BE A TEACHER !!!
And that's the true. And at my work there are many funny things.
Just imagine...
Once I had a class of full grown people ( the proper age for my kind of school is 13-16, and they were 18) They had many problems with the law, they used many dirty words and on the beginning of our meetings they told me they will not learn English at all. After some time I made them learn. Not by force... I was talking about their activities ( street fighting, football ...) and finally they started to learn.
One day , before the lesson started, one of them (Thomas) came to me (he didn't make his homework because he didn't unerstand the topic) and said:
"Fuck, Mam. I didn't do that bloody homework . I tried like fucking hell , but it fucking didn't work. "
You can imagine my face... I wanted to shout at him first but than I realized that he really doesn't know different language than that .
I looked at him and said:
"So show me your bloody homework than. We will work it out ! "
He looked at me with a great suprise... "Yes, Mam !" he said...
We worked that bloody homework down and than I started to talk with them about the language they used. After few monthes they tsarted to use different words in place of those dirty once...

Good Night Stories

Again night... Sitting , thinking... Last time I wrote in time of great anger... It was sad time for me... Now , for few days everything seems to be good and nice. So , maybe I should write about my dreams again ?

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Just imagine...
Little house in the middle of nowhere... A wooden house with little windows ... There is a garden around with herbs and flowers... There are trees and one of them is really big .... There is a woman sitting under that tree. She is in her 50's and he has a long gray hair... She's dressed in gray dress and she is reading something and smiling to herself. Near her a big dog is playing and on the window of her house you can see a cat... Black cat... If you look up over the woman's head you can see the crow sitting on the branch... Who is she ? And what do you think ?
Her mane is Ivory , but her friends ( yes, she have got some) call her Iv.
Some of her enemies call her Witch... But she's not angry on them , she just smiles and says "Maybe they are right ? "

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So , what do you think ? She is my favourite character. I made her up , but after those all years I've been making stories about her I think she is someone whom I wanted to be...
There is Carson , Dean , Emily , John , Reed and many others ...
My stories for Good Night...

Night thoughts part 3...

I do not belive in love.
There is no such a thing at all. There are Users and those who are being used. When you love somebody you are in that second group. You give yourself, your love , your body , your feelings your soul...You give everything you have and much more. You cry when nobody can see youand keep saying that everything is just all right. You smile when everything is collapsing about you and the only thing you want to do is to cry.You try to explain your user to yourself. You blame yourself for everything.And you are afride of losing that person...
And your User is always unsatisfied. You do everything wrongand it's your task to find out what you have done wrong.
There is no such a thing like love. Bit there is hate. When you are so deep that you can't see the sky, when you can't make yourself smile any longer, when youare so desperate that you are able to think again... Your "love" changes into hate.
Tha's why I do not belive in love.'Cause true love can't be changed. True love comes from two people , not from one person. Love is something between...
It's not a rope on which someone is holding happiness. It's something what make two people understand eachother, help eachother. Not to kill eachother.
There is no such a thing like love.

Rain...

Rain... It's dark outside and the new day had just begun... I am sitting in my room and writing... I love the rain... It's knocking and wawes of it flying on the wind...Wind is strong and it's getiing stronger every minute... I love that !!! When it's dark , almost blue - dark , and there is the wind and rain like that I start to dream... I imagine that I am somewhere else ... Scotland for example ( I really wish I could be there) and I dream... I build my little house in the middle of the Heather ... A house of stone , with a little herb garden nearby... There is my cat and my dog with me and my horse ... I spend my days living my life through... Teaching... Writing ... Playing ... Singing... And it would be what I dream about... Little house , little pub in the nearest village ( about 20 km ;-) )
Some friends... And quiet life...

The day after...

So , my birthday is gone... I got a ring from my man and a knife from my sister ( I collect knives)
It was a good day and I am happy about it. But still I have to admit that I hate birthdays.
I'm sitting and thinking ... Tomorrow ( or today , it's 12.13 a.m already) I am going to my workplace to see what is going on there and than maybe I will walk somewhere... Maybe I will meet with my friend and talk a'bit... Thinking... Just thinking...

Growing old... and Thoughts Of Night

After 30 minutes a new day will come... Day of my birthday... Every year on that day I feel all the days falling on my back.I do nay feel it during the year... Just on that day... Of course I love presents ;-) WHo does not ? But the day - Birthday - I do nay like. My mum always call me and asks "And how do you feel being ..... years old ? " Like I felt year ago...

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Last days were really good... Aye !!! I felt happy like I didn't for a long time... Like I said , talking makes things easier and better. What can I say... I hope that somebody reads it (my thoughts) and that somebody will write something. I hope...
It's an Invitation... Write something to me ....

Night thoughts part 2

That was a good day... It started wrong but after a little talk and clearing everything up it became a good day... Talking... People do not like to talk about their problems and thoughts. Maybe it's easier not to talk - just imagine that you know everything... And after talking it appears that you were wrong and everything become more shiny...I hope that next day will be also good...
But for good night I will tell you a funny story. As I said in one of my earliest posts I am interested in genealogy of my family. I was searching for some information about my family and after fiew weeks I got a mail from a man from Germany . He said that I should look in the book of " Czesław Sawicz" Oh, God ! - I thought - "My grandfathers name is Czesław Sawicz" So, I called him and asked... That is my grandfather who had written it. Not only that but 4 books more...

Night thoughts...

Why it have to always like that... You give all you for someone just to find that that person is using you... When you finally start to belive that you find someone who can be different ... just than you find that you were wrong... I am in a sad mode today... My birthday is coming ( saturday) and I hoped that this week can be nice but... I was wrong. For six years now I am with somebody who during last month behaves like he hates me... Why ? I do not know. He caims that he loves me and that nothing had changed but He behaves differently ... Now I am sitting in the middle of the night and think... I do not know what to do... I know , I know... Again my strange thoughts, but it's hard to understand... And hard to handle with... What can I say ? I wish that everything was good and it cleared up until my birthday...I hope it will...

Free time...

Vacation time is crazy... For me it's almost killing... I am a workholic and in that time I feel bad... Naything to do... Any classes... Any students... Oh God !!! But on the other hand I have a lot of time to write, travel... Read... And of course to learn... I want to learn Scottish... Not Gaelic 'cause for that I will need more time ( but I will one time ) but Scottish used now by Scottish people.
Is there anyone from Scotland who would like to teach me ? Show up !!! Anyone ???

Music... Good music...

I thought about music nowadays... Look , can you really dance by this new music ?
And some years ago... The Beatles and their solo albums ....
And Pink Floyd ? Midnight Oil , music from Blues Brothers , Tracy Chappman... Many others...
What kind of music do you like ? Share with me...

Friends from the Past part 2

Well...While travelling I met many good people. And I must say that they helped me a lot.
In Denmark I met one man who was homeless . ( In Denmark they have Homeless Radio and he was in charge of it.) He was playing on the street and making money by it ( Like me...) I had no idea where to go , to eat ... He helped me ... We were playing together in Kopenhagen... He told me many interesting stories about Kopenhagen and Denmark... Stories about it's past... About Kristania - a city in the city...
John from London... Talking Cokney all the time... 130 kilos of friendship and smile...
Thor - the Norwegian - Black jokes , chess ... Quiet man with a smile on his face...
Smokie Joe... That was the funny guy on our place... Just imagine ... Little , old hippie, with a long , dirty hair.. Dressed like Hippie... Smoking grass all the time...
And this man is coming to you and says : "Hey man, give me five... Can you roll a joint ? "
( his hands was so shaking that he was unable to "roll a joint himself...)
He was driving Charlie mad (they were both from Manchester) so, once Charlie took 5 pennies and waited for Joe. When he finally came and ask "Hey man... Give me five..." Charlie put 5 pennies on his hand saying " Here you are !" Joe was angry and he was not talking to Charlie for a long time...

Nature is beauty...

That's a photo taken by one of my friends near my city... I always thought, that the nature is beauty ... Simple , wild... I really can rest there. The city is loud , full of people and sometimes I do nay want to see the people around me... Just a wee bit of quiet... Nothing more to add...

Visitors - Welcome !

All visitors - I am glad to see your coments and thoughts !
You want to add something , say something... Go ahead ! I like to meet new people and that's a good oportunity for that... So, do not be shy.. Just write !

Aye ! That's me again...

Well... New day had started and it's time to write something... I was thinking of writing some kind of FanFiction... Maybe I should ? Every day I make up stories, so... But nay this time...
But I will put a photo of someone whom I really like...

Thoughts....

Is there anything like love ? Sometimes I really think there is not. You meet someone... Everything seems to be good... After some time you realize that you like to spend your time with that person, you can talk for hours about everything... You find being in love ... Than you start to be together... Monthes or yoears even pass... Than you find yourself doing everything just to get a smile from her or him... You give all your heart, mind, body to someone who behaves like he hates you... But there are still some moments of which you can be happy... There are...
But than everything just backs to "normal" and than you just want to escape... Escape anywhere...
But the truth is that at some age you have no place to escape , no place to hide... Funny, isn't it ?
So , you live your life and dream that something will change one day... And what if not ... ?

Here is one of my poems. I wrote it in reply for friends poem about dream woman...

In reply to a friends poem...

You have to be gentle man
And carrying
Listenning to what am saying
You have to play and sing
Like me
For my man to be

You have to love water
And sun
Long walks and free space
You have to be a'bit rover
Like me
For my man to be

You have to love me a little
And admire a'bit
Daydreaming with me
You have to be able to forget
Like me
For my man to be

But you can be different
Of course
'cause
There are no such a man at all

On the other hand ... I wrote a poem once...


"Little Pray"

God I'm praying You
Keep my live and soul
From dark side of world
I'm just little girl
When I'm by Your side
I'm feeling good

Staying on crossing roads
Trying to believe
That all will be good
Thinking about the love
Hopping that somewhen
I'll find someone

So , God I'm praying You
Give me power for
To live and to be
Give for poors sam cash
For homeless give some place
To stay and to live

If you're hearing me
God I'm begging You
Give for all their needs
My Lord if You can
My Lord if You want
Show me that I'm not alone

Sometimes I think that the best way to be happy is to feel nothing... Not to be able to feel love, sadness, jelousy...

Friends from the Past

Last time I thought of my friends.... So many of them are away... So many of them I will see no more... They are lost somewhere or they are dead... So maybe I should make something like memory place for them... One place for all friends...
Charlie... 40 years old (now 50 or so) English man from Manchester... Playing guitar , helping... Yeah, we were playing together on streets of Freiburg... Thanks to him I had a money to come back and to live... I hope he quit drinking like he wanted...
Richard Lions... An Irish man... "I am a man , I know what I can do and what I can not..." He always kept saying that... Aye ! And he ended up in prison for selling drugs... But he had a great woice and he played wonderful ... I would really meet them again...
Rob McGregor - Scottish man... Highlander... Guitar player... Walking around in Kilt and with sword....
Ralph Shroder... My good friend from Germany... Guitar and drums player...Living in Vagenburg..In Freiburg... Ostfrizish... Aye ! I always thought that Ostfrizish man should look like he does...
Frank... Irish man... He always was talking stright... "Why don't you go to bed with him ?" he asked me once (I was in love with one man and I was not able to talk with him ... I always lost a tong when I had to talk with him)
Aye ! That are my friends....
Soon will be more of descriptions...

TRAVELLING...

I really love to travel... This year I am going to travel a'bit... In October I will go to Archaeology meeting in Biskupin. I love it, really !!!!

Stargate SG1 and Stargate Atlantis

Did you see that movies ? If not you really should.... Great !!!! For so many years now I've been a fan of it and they really suprise me by every new season (SG1 - 9 seasons, SGA- 2 seasons).
I would really meet those people... Especially Paul McGillion (Carson Beckett in SG Atlantis) As I said I love Scottish accent and Scotland....

Me and my class

That's just a part of my class and me on a school trip...Nice , isn't it ?

Who I am...

Well... I am just a teacher... woman... human...
I love many things... SF... Guitar playing.... Taking photos... Teaching...Travelling...Scottish accent...
I am interested in Genealogy of my family - Lisowski and Sawicz...
I like painting and drawing...
And of course I am a'bit crazy. One must be crazy to create a blog, isn't it like that ?